I guess I’ve always just seen it as being needy, or weak and I have always tried to refuse to be any part of that. I don’t like help from others and I don’t like relying on other people. I guess you could even say my goal has always been to come off rather secure. But let’s be honest, no matter how “strong” or “secure” you come off we all have insecurities.
When I was thinking about what I was going to write on here at first I thought, “It would be awesome to talk about some great God experience I’ve had where I learned to be confident, or say I have really embraced being a daughter of the King, or I have even learned that I am made perfectly in Gods image”, but the truth with that is, I would be lying if I told you I had that one experience.
Being insecure is a constant struggle. A battle. A war. Day in and day out. I get up in the morning and struggle from start to finish. I wake up and hate the fact that I have dark circles (graciously passed down from my mother’s side), my skin isn’t an even tone and it’s not flawless either. I don’t like the way my clothes fit half the time and the other half I don’t like my clothes.
I’m not secure in the way I look or my hair. I’m not the “funny friend” or the “cleaver friend”. I’m not the girl to that makes guy’s heads turn and I’m rather positive at times I’m extremely awkward. I’m insecure that my past has mistakes. I’m also extremely insecure that at the age of 22 I’ve never had a boyfriend. To be honest, my list of insecurities could probably go on for quite awhile…
The good thing? I am NOT my insecurities.
If you asked my friends they would tell you that I am OBSESSED with quotes (they’re my absolute favorite part of Pinterest). I have a quote for everything and if you give me enough time I can find one that applies to whatever we’re talking about. Quotes and pictures fill my room and especially my mirror. So when I wake up I’m surrounded by verses and quotes like Song of Solomon 4:7 “You are altogether beautiful my darling, and there is no blemish in you.” and the infamous “life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.” They may seem small and insignificant but to me they’re a reminder that I’m not the ridiculous lies I tell myself. The ridiculous lies the devil feeds me.
I am NOT my insecurities. And you are NOT your insecurities either.
You are beautiful. Bright. Perfect.
Everyday I find myself fighting this battle and everyday I turn it over to God. It is a continual war and learning process. In the world I am not perfect and I never will be. But in God’s eyes, like Song of Solomon says, “there is no blemish in you”.
I wish I could tell each of you, to your face just how wonderful, beautiful and amazing you are. I truly do mean that. You ARE beautiful. I pray for you daily, whether we are friends or complete strangers that as you read this you take it in and really believe it.
Finally, I’ve been praying and really thinking about this whole process. The whole (In)securely Movement a lot recently and here is what I’ve come up with:
Let’s not only learn to love our imperfections and ourselves but lets learn to love each other. I believe a lot of our imperfections come from us not liking things in others and turning them onto ourselves. Here and now I am challenging you: Lets cut the gossip and only speak kind words to and of others in front of them and behind their backs. What would society look like if we were constantly building others up inside and out instead of cutting them down?