I never thought rejection would be one of my biggest insecurities. And if you know me, you would never have thought it either. Allow me to tell you the story of a third grade girl, who merely desired to change her world. I grew up in church; colored coloring pages on the pews, used my brother as a road for Hot Wheels, and ate those cute little strawberry candies. A few months after I turned seven, I decided that I wanted to follow Jesus. At the time, I really didn’t know what that meant. That is, until I had a vision two years later. I’d had dreams before, but something about this one was different. We were on the playground. About five of my friends and I had formed some sort of Conga line, and we were marching around singing about Jesus. That may have been the extent of the mental vision, but divine visions never die. I told my dad about this vision I’d had, along with how God was calling me to start a campus club called “The Disciple Train.” He was stoked, and helped by making me flyers and business cards to pass out.
I’d never been called to the principal’s office before that day in the third grade, and to this day it’s the only time I ever have been. As soon as I saw my parents, I began to rack my brain wondering what I had done wrong. I only remember one thing about that visit to the principal’s office. My principal holding up one of the business cards my dad had made, and her saying, “This is unacceptable.” I don’t remember her reasoning, but something tells me she was afraid of her school being rocked for Jesus Christ.
That day was where the insecurity of rejection came into my life. Rejection is the reason I didn’t even think about campus clubs again until the summer before my eighth grade year. For five years, I let it eat away at me, and still to this day I struggle. In seventh grade I attended a weekly bible club at my school, but waited until the end of the year to even get remotely involved. In eighth grade though, I took ownership of that club. I also began a weekly prayer meeting at the flag. And out of that prayer meeting came a weekly bible study. I was leading three bible clubs a week, and living in my vision.
When I entered ninth grade last year, I had one goal: rekindle the fire in my high school. There had been a campus club the year before, but was nullified due to low attendance. I had no clue how I was going to restart this club, but I knew I had to. Two months into the school year we had our first meeting in my Geometry teacher’s classroom. We had two meetings in his room, and then he started getting there too late for us to accomplish anything. We then moved to the Computer Applications classroom, and no one showed up. Filled with discouragement, I began to give up hope. But one week later, I came home to some pretty exciting news. At the time, my dad was working with a local organization called Young Faith in Christ. He informed me that they had received a call from one of the coaches at my school, asking what he would need to do to sponsor a campus club. It took me a week to work up the courage to talk to him, but I am so glad I did. He helped us get the campus club off the ground, and this year it is an official club at my high school. This year I continue to be involved with that club. Last year and this year I also have assisted with a bible club on one of our elementary campuses.
This year though, I had the opportunity of a lifetime. Even though I was super excited, this opportunity made me strongly fear rejection. It took three months after the idea was proposed to get a teacher to sponsor the club. After a lot of rejection I started a new campus club. The Insecurely Movement Campus Club began Friday, November 8th, 2013. The club, targeted at high school girls, is a place where girls can come together to discuss the things that are thrown at us by society every day. With eight girls in attendance at our first meeting, three months of rejection paid off. I can’t wait to see what else God has in store for the club, this incredible movement, and for the lives He will impact with both.
In conclusion, I want to remind you that your insecurities don’t define you. In all honesty, they make you stronger. My insecurity allowed me to start a campus club for other girls dealing with insecurities of their own. My insecurity also allowed me to know what God wanted me to do with my life, and maybe yours could do the same.