What do young Christians find attractive?
Guys that sing and play acoustic guitar (those guys can worship like no one else), and girls who like deep theological discussions (they really dig coffee and the word). Don’t fit the criteria? Well then, “You aren’t spiritual enough.” Not spiritual enough? You don’t fit the high standards that many of today’s Christian men and women have of what Godliness is. If you don’t pray to Jesus in a certain way, talk about God every other conversation, and fall to your knees during every worship service, then you aren’t very godly. Don’t get me wrong, a guy that truly loves the Lord is attractive, but should that kind of Godliness be the limit of what we consider “attractive”?
If you think of what Godliness is (taken from Galatians 5) being Christ-like, or loving others like Christ comes to mind. It’s a basic biblical definition. Once it is applied to a possible dating partner, it becomes more of a cultural definition than a biblical one. In our current Christian culture, Godliness means someone who worships dramatically, loves talking about God, or always in prayer. It doesn’t sound bad on the surface, but we tend to have a narrow idea of what exemplifies those definitions. We end up picturing the extremes. We picture someone who jumps and shouts during worship, talks about God all the time (you know what I mean), and someone who prays really really intensely. Is it wrong to do those things? Not at all, but when it becomes a standard that we hold ourselves, and others to, it becomes a problem. Now that it’s a standard, the mindset becomes “If you don’t worship Jesus in that exact way, then clearly you don't follow Christ" and that’s ridiculous! What gets overlooked is that not everyone expresses their relationship with Christ in the same way. Some people are loud and outspoken. Others are quieter, with a softer voice, but that doesn’t mean one is more Godly than the other.
How does this apply to dating and attractiveness? It seems that many possible suitors are turned down, because from the outside appearance, they aren’t as close to Jesus as some would like. Well if someone doesn’t meet this ridiculous new standard of Godliness, it doesn’t mean they aren’t on fire for God. It also doesn’t mean they aren’t worthy of a date just because they worship a little differently. This whole thing distracts us from what Godliness really is, prevents us from truly understanding someone, and ultimately distracts us from God himself. A man or woman of God is way more than how much they talk about Jesus, or how extravagant their worship style is. Their Godliness can be seen through their character, how they treat others, and how they treat you. It should be every Christian’s goal to be like Christ, but in this we also need to keep ourselves in check. Ask yourself: “Do I worship the same in public as I do in private? Am I trying to impress others or exalt God?” Godliness shouldn’t be a quality we use to attract a mate, but rather to lead others to Christ. It’s important not to lose focus of that. Don’t start lifting your hands because some guy or gal might be looking. Lift them to worship the King who is already after your heart! When we start to view Godliness as an attractive quality rather than a goal we should be striving for, we shift our focus from God, and instead focus on ourselves. Then it’s not really Godliness at all. So while knowing that someone loves Jesus is an attractive thing, it shouldn’t distract us from Jesus.
In reference to someone being spiritual, instead of saying “that’s attractive”, say “that’s awesome”. Awesome that someone is unashamed to share the love, proclaim the love, and accept the love of Christ publicly. We shouldn’t judge how Godly someone is before we know their story, and we shouldn’t use our praises to bait someone into dating us. That’s not what it’s for. So even though the guy in the bro tank and snapback looks even better for having his bible with him, it’s only an outward appearance. Whether it’s for show or something genuine, it shouldn’t sway my opinion of how spiritual he is, because I don’t know him…yet.